Best Halloween Jokes and Puns for Kids


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Publish date

October 13, 2022


Lemon and Kiwi

Sometimes the best way to get rid of the scaries is to laugh them away. Our list of Egg-cellent Easter Jokes and Easter Puns for Kids was so popular back in April that we decided to create a list of equally spooktacular Halloween jokes for you and your little ones to enjoy this October. You can use our list of the funniest Halloween puns and jokes as Halloween lunch box joke printables, as Halloween gift favor tags, or as a filler for your Halloween candy baskets.

In this spooktacular article, we’re happy to share the following kinds of laugh-out-loud (or should I say, cackle out loud?) Halloween jokes and puns:

  1. Halloween One-Liner Jokes
  2. Halloween Jokes For Kids, Preschoolers, and Toddlers
  3. Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
  4. Ghost Jokes and Ghost Puns

Halloween One-Liner Jokes

  • What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hot dog.
  • Why did the zombie eat brains? He wanted food for thought.
  • How do zombies get in the house? They use a skeleton key.
  • How do skeletons make calls? On the tele-bone.
  • How do ghosts take their coffee? With scream and sugar.
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
  • Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o’-lantern? It needed to lighten up.
  • What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.
  • Where do spiders do their online shopping? On the web.
  • Why don’t haunted houses like rain? It dampens their spirits.
  • What do you need to unlock a haunted house? A spoo-key.
  • How can you prevent being possessed by a demon? Exercise.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field.
  • Did you hear the one about the confusing cemetery book? It had too many plots.
  • Why do cemeteries have fences? Everyone’s dying to get in.
  • Who rules the pumpkin patch? The pump-king.
  • How did the jack-o-lantern fix the rip in its jeans? It used a pumpkin patch.
  • What do weight-conscious vampires drink? Blood light.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail? Bloody Mary.
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • What do vampires and false teeth have in common? They both come out at night.
  • Where’s Dracula’s ATM? At the blood bank.
  • Orange you pumped for Halloween?
  • Let’s give ‘em pumpkin to talk about.

Halloween Jokes for Kids, Preschoolers, and Toddlers

  • Where do baby ghosts go? Day-scare.
  • What’s a mathematician’s favorite Halloween treat? Pumpkin pi.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving
  • What’s a ghost’s least favorite day of the week? Moan-day.
  • What sport do bats like to play? Baseball.
  • How do you say “goodbye” to a vampire? So long, sucker!
  • How do bats know where to fly? They wing it.
  • Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Everyone thinks he’s batty.
  • How can you tell that a vampire has a cold? It’s coffin.
  • What did one invisible man say to the other? Long time, no see.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite snack? Neck-tarine.
  • Who won the vampire marathon? No one knows — it was neck and neck.
  • What kind of dog does a vampire have? Bloodhound.
  • Why did the vampire use mouthwash? It had bat breath.
  • Why don’t vampires eat cows? They don’t like stakes.
  • Why aren’t vampires popular? They’re a pain in the neck. 

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! I’m just a Halloween trick or treater!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you going to give me some Halloween candy?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you will give me some Halloween candy?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.

Ghost Jokes and Ghost Puns

  • Why did the ghost pick its nose? It had boo-gers in it.
  • Who did the ghost take to the Halloween party? His boo-tiful ghoul friend.
  • What do ghosts like to read? Scary boo-ks!
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
  • Why didn’t the ghost go to prom? It had no body to dance with.
  • Why did the ghost go out for cheerleading? She had a lot of spirit.
  • How do ghosts become pilots? They go to fright school.
  • Where do ghosts prefer to shop? At the boo-tique.
  • Where do ghosts buy their cookies? From the ghoul scouts.
  • How do ghosts apply makeup? They use vanishing cream.
  • What do baby ghosts need to sit at a table? Boo-ster seats.
  • What do ghosts wear when it snows? Boo-ts.
  • What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.
  • How did one ghost know the other ghost was lying? He could see right through him.
  • Why did the ghost need first aid? It had a boo-boo.
  • What kind of muffins do ghosts eat? Boo-berry muffins.

Want free Halloween printables?

We hope you liked our list of terrifyingly funny Halloween jokes! To help prepare for the spooky season with you, check out our other Halloween ideas and free Halloween printable activities:

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