15 Wedding Jokes To Make Your Speech The Toast Of The Evening!


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Publish date

May 10, 2020


Lemon and Kiwi

Being a Best Man or maid-of-honour is such a privilege. But with such privilege comes a lot of responsibility and stress to make sure your loved ones most special day go off without a hitch. Pun intended. But your job is not done once the vows are said and the rings are on the bride and grooms fingers, oh no. You still have to give a speech in front of potentially hundreds of people. We’ll don’t stress, we have compiled a list fo 20 zingers that will have everyone in stitches.

Funny Wedding Toast

15 Wedding Jokes for Speeches

In this article, we’ve broken down our list of hilarious wedding jokes into the following three categories:

  • Jokes For The Best Man
  • Jokes For The Maid-of-honour
  • General Wedding Jokes

Wedding Jokes For The Best Man

As the best man, you are expected to take the micky out of the groom, just a little bit. Here are 5 ideas to get some laughs.

  • “When *insert grooms name* decided to get married, he tried to call his most handsome friend and ask him to be his best man. But unfortunately, he declined.He then called up his funniest friend. But also declined.

    Lastly, he decided to call up his most intelligent friend. Finally, I told him “This is the third time you have called me! If you stop calling I’ll be your best man”.”

  • “There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Good luck to the bride!”
  • “Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I’ve known him for about 8 years, and he is handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic”*pause and squint at cards*

    “Wait, I’m sorry, *insert grooms name* I can’t read your writing”

  • “I did some research online about best man speeches and it said that you should make your best man speech mainly about the groom. So like *the groom* this speech is going to be short and disappointing.”
  • “I spoke with the groom’s parents earlier and they told me to cut some inappropriate stories out, so nothing about ex’s… (drop an index card)…. alcohol… (drop another index card) …. the police…. (drop another index card)…”

Wedding Jokes For The Maid-of-Honor

Maid-of-honor speeches are often very sentimental. But there is no reason why you can’t sneak some cute and funny jokes in there as well.

  • “I have known *insert the brides name* since highschool. So you could pretty much call us high school sweethearts.”
  • “*Insert brides name*, please put your hand on the table next to your husband. *Insert grooms name*, place your hand on top of hers. Now that you are married, this will be the last time that you will have the upper hand, *insert grooms name*.”
  • “I’d like to give you and the groom relationship advice, but what do I know? I’m single and have a cat.”
  • *Insert grooms name*, now that you are married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear”
  • “All those among you who know the Bride will know that she is a wonderful and caring person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God *insert grooms name* married her before she found one.”
Wedding Couple Releasing Balloons Into The Sky

General Wedding Jokes

If you are looking for some jokes that be used as the MC, Maid-of-honour or, the Best Man, here are 5 jokes that you can use to get an extra couple of laughs.

  • “A wise man once said, love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit…”

  • “Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar.”

  • A lot of you don’t know me but at university, I studied mathematics, specifically the field of statistics. *bride, groom*, I want you guys to look each other in the eyes. You are now looking at the person who, statistically speaking, is most likely to murder you.”

  • “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a very emotional day. Even the cake’s in tiers…”

  • “I’d like everyone to stand for a toast. There are some really important people whom I’m sure you will all meet throughout the evening. Without them, none of this would be possible. Everyone, raise a glass for the bartenders!”

When writing the speech, make sure to include some personal stories about the couples, share some fun moments you had together and let them know how much they mean to you. While it’s great to get a laugh, what is most important is to make sure the bride and groom know how much they mean to you.

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